Slow-Moderate-Fast Influence

Three speeds of influence—from letting people fail to cognitive dissonance in the moment

Evan LaPointe
Improve strategy, influence, and decision-making by understanding your brain

Slow-Moderate-Fast Influence

"The starting point for influence is to choose your character and choose your mode. It's almost like you're playing Elden Ring or some video game... everybody for your personality has a natural fit for the character you're going to select as this mode of influence, and then you're going to pick a speed of influence: slow, moderate, or fast." - Evan LaPointe

What It Is

Influence operates at three distinct speeds. Most people default to slow (letting failure teach lessons) without realizing faster options exist. Understanding all three speeds lets you choose intentionally based on urgency, relationship quality, and what the habitat permits.

The key insight: slow influence can take months or years, while fast influence—when your relationships and habitat support it—can happen in minutes.

How It Works

Slow Influence: Learn Through Failure

What it is: Let reality teach the lesson. You know they're heading off a cliff, but you stay silent and let consequences do the work.

When people use it:

  • "I can't do anything here"
  • "They'll figure it out on their own"
  • "Failure is the best teacher"

The problem: Can take months, years, or a lifetime. Sometimes people never learn the "obvious" lesson.

When it's appropriate:

  • Lesson must be viscerally felt to stick
  • Your influence attempts would backfire
  • The stakes are low enough to absorb failure
  • You lack the relationship quality for faster methods

Moderate Influence: Teach and Let Reality Confirm

What it is: Give someone new knowledge or a framework, then let their future experiences validate it. Based on the Challenger Sale methodology.

How it works:

  1. Teach them something new about their situation
  2. Give them signals to watch for
  3. Let them live with this knowledge
  4. Their daily experience now confirms what you said

Example: "Hey Evan, you might want to notice people's body language while giving feedback. When you see crossed arms or averted eyes, that's a sign they've shut down."

Then in 30 days: "Have you been seeing those signals?" "Everywhere I look, I can't not see it now."

Timeframe: Days to weeks to maybe months

When it's appropriate:

  • Complex behavioral change needed
  • Sufficient relationship exists
  • You can wait for organic confirmation
  • Teaching creates genuine new awareness

Fast Influence: Cognitive Dissonance

What it is: Challenge illogical beliefs directly in the moment. Surface the disconnect between what someone believes and what would actually work.

How it works:

  1. Ask "How does this formula compute?"
  2. Drill below the behavior to the underlying belief
  3. Explore how preposterous the belief itself is
  4. The belief changes, behavior follows

Example: "Evan, help me understand—how does being extremely direct with feedback lead to people actually changing? Why do you believe that?"

Timeframe: Minutes to hours

When it's appropriate:

  • Strong relationship with high trust
  • Habitat explicitly permits direct challenge
  • Urgency requires immediate shift
  • The person is self-aware and intellectually honest

The Relationship Requirement

Fast influence requires:

  1. Trust (they believe you're trying to help, not harm)
  2. A habitat that permits direct challenge
  3. Psychological safety to examine beliefs

Without these, fast influence backfires—it triggers safety systems and creates defensiveness.

How to Apply It

  1. Choose your character first - What influence style fits your personality? Devil's advocate? Compassionate challenger? Data-driven analyst? Be consistent so people know what to expect from you.

  2. Assess the speed your situation allows:

    • How urgent is change?
    • How strong is the relationship?
    • Does the habitat permit direct challenge?

  3. Build the infrastructure for fast - Invest in relationships and habitat so when urgency arises, fast influence is available

  4. Use moderate as default - Teaching plus time is the workhorse of organizational change

  5. Accept slow when necessary - Sometimes people need to experience failure. Don't waste energy on influence that won't land.

When to Use It

  • When deciding how directly to confront a problem
  • When someone on your team needs to change behavior
  • When building influence strategy for a stakeholder
  • When frustrated that "obvious" lessons aren't being learned
  • When designing how challenge should work in your team culture

Source

  • Guest: Evan LaPointe
  • Episode: "Improve strategy, influence, and decision-making by understanding your brain"
  • Key Discussion: (01:06:05) - Detailed explanation of influence speeds
  • YouTube: Watch on YouTube

Related Frameworks

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